


Ever Since I First Laid Eyes On You

by Priscibeur



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, Light Smut, M/M, No cheating, Protective Jace, Self Confidence Issues, Supporting Clary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 09:26:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14185902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priscibeur/pseuds/Priscibeur
Summary: Alec and Magnus have been in a relationship for three years now. They are still living in this honeymoon phase, never fighting hard enough for them to be afraid of losing each other. But what happens when Magnus starts lying and hiding things from Alec? Can Alec trust him enough, or is it the beginning of the end?





	Ever Since I First Laid Eyes On You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This is my first Malec fan fiction and first ever fanfic in English. It's not my mother tongue so please be nice ? This is unbetad, so all the mistakes are mine. Hold on tight because I live for angst but fluff is also important so no worries, our babies will be fine, they just need to go through this stage.  
> I hope you'll like it,  
> Love.

Alec slowly blinked his eyes, before sighing lightly. Contrary to most people, he loved Mondays. He loved the idea of receiving new cases, because it meant receiving new chances of saving people and make right wrong deeds. Being a prosecutor was sometimes really heavy on his shoulders but nothing was as rewarding as bringing justice to the weaker who were just victims of life. Alec was a big softie, he hates to admit it but it was one of the main reasons that got the love of life to fall for him, so he would admit it but only if he got a reward for it.

Speaking of reward, Alec turned to be laying on his left side, facing the gorgeous man whom he shared his life with. Magnus was laying on his back, the sheet only covering him from the waist down. Alec and Magnus had been together for three years now. They had met thanks to Alec’s adoptive brother, Jace, who was dating Clary, Magnus’ adoptive sister. They instantly clicked and started dating soon after. And here they were, in their bed, in their apartment they have been sharing for a year and a half now.

Alec lifted his hand to push aside Magnus dark hair that was falling over his eyes. He was soundly asleep, and that was one of Alec’s favorite sights. He was so in love with Magnus that it almost scared him sometimes. He didn’t know he could love someone as deeply as he loved Magnus. He had had relationships before he met him, he had been happy but nothing compared to the happiness and love Magnus brought him. He let his hand wander over his cheek, his neck, his chest ... He could see Magnus’ lips twitch a little and he got an idea.

He lifted the sheet and carefully slide between Magnus’ spread legs. He covered himself with the sheet, and faced Magnus’ covered groin. He knew how much his boyfriend loved morning sex. How much he loves waking up to Alec touching or, even better for him, waking Alec up with sex. He slipped his fingers inside Magnus’ boxers and took his not fully erected penis in his hand. He felt Magnus move slightly but he knew he was still asleep. He started to slowly stroke it, up and down, until he was fully hard. He covered the head with his mouth and circled it with his tongue. He kept this pace for a few moments, before getting more and more into his mouth.

His right hand was still stroking the part he couldn’t take into his mouth and he moaned when he felt the taste of pre-come on his tongue. He sensed Magnus’ thighs contract before the sheet was lifted and hearing Magnus moan loudly. Seeing Alec like that ... his mouth around his cock. It did wonders to Magnus and Alec knew it. He smirked before lifting his eyes to meet Magnus’ and took more of Magnus into mouth, causing Magnus to moan again as he let his head fall backwards.

The older man threw the sheet aside, to fully see Alec between his legs, enjoying bobbing his head up and down while he brought pleasure to his boyfriend.

“Alexander ...” moaned Magnus. God. Alec loved it so much when Magnus called him by his full name. Especially when he was saying it during sex. He needed to hear the older man scream his name now. He speed up his rhythm and moaned again when he felt Magnus’ fingers tugging at his hair. He could hear his boyfriend’s breaths turning into groans and moans. He was close. After years of learning how Magnus’ body worked, he knew every sign, every little change that meant he was about to give in.

Magnus gripped his hair even tighter, so Alec looked up to him and almost came himself. Magnus was so beautiful. He was looking straight into his eyes, his own completely blown with lust and desire. He was a panting mess and Alec couldn’t help but feel proud of his effect on his boyfriend. He wanted to see him come. He needed it. So he brought his other hand to Magnus hole, touched it lightly and, before he knew it, Magnus was coming inside his mouth, screaming Alec’s name. He kept on stroking Magnus, swallowing every last drop, as his boyfriend was shaking because of his orgasm.

He licked his entire length one more time before crawling back up, to kiss Magnus’ forehead.

“Good morning” he whispered before hiding his face into Magnus’ neck.

“Good morning in deed” he replied, chuckling lightly. “God ... you really do know how to make a Monday worth getting up.” He slid his arms around the younger one and held him tight, as Alec sighed into him.

“I just wanted to give you a proper wake up” Alec answered back, against his neck, causing Magnus to shiver.

“Kiss me” he let out. Alec chuckled lightly, tickling Magnus’ neck, before shaking his head.

“I can still taste you in my mouth, and I’m positive I have a terrible morning breath” he said. “I am not kissing you right now.”

“Then maybe I could kiss you somewhere else” he offered as he felt a rush going through his body. He pushed Alec for him to lay on his back, before climbing over him. Alec smiled at him and before Magnus could mark his territory on his neck, he heard his phone ring. Alec laughed lightly when Magnus let his head fall on his chest.

“Answer it baby” he said. “I have to get ready for work anyway.”

“But I didn’t get to care of you!” protested Magnus.

“You’ll take care of me another time, okay ?” Magnus nodded and climbed off of him, after Alec kissed his cheek. The younger one then got off the bed to go the ensuite bathroom, while Magnus picked up his phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mags, how are you?” asked Clary. The little red-haired worked with Magnus as his assistant at the magazine. They’ve worked together ever since Magnus got this crazy idea of creating a fashion magazine until the same magazine became the best one in their category. Every one in the fashion world wished to be in it and Magnus couldn’t feel prouder of him job.

“I’m fine biscuit. What can I do for you?”

“I was checking my mails and I got a very interesting one” she announced. Magnus sit up on the bed.

“You got me intrigued. I am listening.”

“Imasu Morales is about to release his new lingerie collection for women and he wants to be featured in the magazine” she started. Of course, Magnus knew he couldn’t avoid Imasu for ever. As much as he tries to, they were both in the same industry, so they were bound to meet up again at some point.

“Why do I feel like you are leaving something out?” he asked.

“Because I am” she sighed. “Camille Belcourt is his main model for the collection.”

This time, Magnus had to shut his eyes in order to keep calm. Sometimes he seriously wondered if life was against him. He had the chance to be with Alec, so he was very lucky in that sense. But, other times, like this one, he seriously felt like life was trying to bring him down. And bringing two of his exes, back into his life at the same time honestly felt like the world was laughing at him.

“I would never have thought that the two of them would team up one day” he stated.

“Yeah, same” admitted Clary. “Just know that you have every right to turn them down.”

“Everyone is expecting Imasu’s collection to be mind-blowing” he countered as he ran his hand though his hair. “It would be huge to have the exclusive on it. It will be great promotion for his collection and for the magazine.”

“Are you sure you really want to go through with it ?” checked Clary. She seemed nervous about the situation, and so did Magnus to be honest. However, he knew he had moved on, from both of them so he could do it.

“I do” he assured. “Book an interview with them both, and check when they would be available for a shoot.”

“Will do, boss” she agreed. “I’ll see you at the office.”

“Bye, biscuit.”

He hang up and throw his phone onto his night table. He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes to gather his thoughts. Camille and Imasu had been so important to him in his life, but after their respective break-ups, he hadn’t met with either of them. It was truly for the best. Both break-ups had been pretty messy. He had forgiven them so it wouldn’t be a problem to meet with them, but he didn’t know if he was ready to have any type of relationship with them. They didn’t have to become friends, but they had to at least be professional, and knowing Camille, that would be the difficult part.

The door leading to the bathroom opened and Alec came out of the room, wearing only a pair of black boxers. Magnus’ worries vanished, just like that, and a huge smile lit up his face. Alec went to their dressing and Magnus decided to follow him. He found his boyfriend standing in front of his part of the dressing and couldn’t help but join him, to circle his arms around his body, travel his hand on his body and leave a kiss between his shoulder blades.

“You are gorgeous, angel” he whispered against his skin. He felt Alec shiver as he was deciding what to wear.

“You already got laid, babe, you don’t need to try and woo me” he teased. Magnus laughed lightly before putting his chin on Alec’s right shoulder.

“I know but I will keep on complementing you for as long as I shall live” he said. This got Alec to close his eyes, in order to keep his heart from exploding with love. He turned around to meet Magnus’ gaze and smiled shyly. He cupped his boyfriend’s face his hands and leaned forward to kiss him. Magnus gripped his hips and responded to the kiss with as much love as Alec was trying to give him. Magnus knew Alec was not a very confident man, especially not in love. That’s why he felt important to tell him every day how lucky he felt to be able to share his life with me.

Alec gave him a last peck before stroking his cheekbones with his thumbs.

“I love you” he whispered, as if he was sharing a secret.

“I love you too, darling” Magnus whispered back.

Alec flashed a wide grin before turning to pick out his clothes.

“Do you have a lot of work today?” he asked.

“Yeah” sighed Magnus. “I have a new designer to interview, articles to proof-read and a few pictures to check and validate.”

“Aw” said Alec as he turned around, a white shirt, blue slacks and the jacket going with it, on his arm. “My baby’s working hard.”

“That’s why I am the best” smiled Magnus.

“True” he admitted. “But don’t work too hard, okay?”

“I promise, love. But only if you promise me the same.”

“I’m a prosecutor, Magnus” Alec answered before leaving the dressing. “I have to make sure justice is served.” Magnus followed him back into the bedroom, to see him lay out his clothes of the bed.

“I agree, but I also want you to take care of yourself” he insisted.

“I promise to at least eat a little something at lunch” said Alec. “Is that good enough?” Magnus sighed, knowing that getting more out of Alec would be difficult so he nodded. Alec saw that Magnus was trying not to add anything else, so he cupped his face another time and kissed him lightly on the lips. “How about dinner tonight? I know I’ll be home before you so I can cook you dinner, so we’ll eat together and that way, you can be sure I actually ate something solid today.”

“Sounds like a great plan, love” accepted Magnus.

“Perfect” Alec smiled. “I’ll see you tonight then?”

“Yes” he assured. “Text me when you get to your office” said Magnus before entering the bathroom.

“Yes, sir” teased Alec, before laughing. Magnus shook his head, laughing as well, before leaving Alec.

***

“Good morning, biscuit” said Magnus.

“Hello again, boss” she smiled. Magnus smiled back, as he settled at his desk. Clary has been waiting for him there, ready to get to work. Magnus took off his dark red jacket, and settled it on the back of his chair, leaving him with a white shirt and dark red slacks that matched his jacket.

“Hit me with what to expect from today.”

“Simon sent me the pictures for the cover story, apparently that model Maureen Brown might be a rising star but she’s a pain” she started.

“She managed to drive Sherman crazy?” Magnus laughed softly.

“You have no idea” assures Clary. “But they managed to do a great job together, Simon was really proud of the way the pictures came out. He sent me his top ten so you just have to chose which one will be on the cover and the other used around the interview” she went on before handing a file to Magnus.

“What else?”

“Mr. Morales answered me right away” she said. Magnus’ eyebrows shot up, surprised to already hear back from him, but gestured to Clary to keep going. “He and Camille are already in town” she began again. “They want to meet with you, tonight, for a drink.”

“A drink?” repeated Magnus, in disbelief.

“Yeah, they want to meet on neutral grounds to start over or something before diving into work” she then explained.

“Huh” said Magnus. He should have expected like that, true, but it was still hard to believe they both wanted to see him and ... start a proper relationship with him? Again, he should have expected that but they kept on surprising him.

“Did he give an address?” he asked. “Actually, he gave me his number, so you could call him directly to settle the meeting” she said, with a grimace. Of course he had done that. That was typical of Imasu, so Magnus nodded, not really surprised.

“Give it to me, I’ll call him right now” he said. Clary handed him a note, with scribbled numbers on it and Magnus took out his cellphone. He composed the number and brought the phone to his ear. It rang two times before a voice came through.

“Imasu Morales, speaking” he stated. Magnus had to close his eyes for a few seconds. He honestly didn’t think that just hearing his voice again after so many years would have so much effect on him. It felt nice, to hear it, he had missed his thick accent.

“Imasu, it’s Magnus” he said. He heard a small gasp.

“Magnus ...” he couldn’t believe he was talking to him. Magnus could perfectly hear the disbelief in his voice. And if he thought hearing his voice was disturbing, it was even more disconcerting to hear him say his name. Suddenly, he felt thrown back to the times they spent back in his villa in Peru. All the endless nights they spent together, all the parties, all the love. “I didn’t think I’d hear from you so soon.”

“Neither did I” he admitted. “Clary, my assistant, said you wanted to speak to me directly, so I thought it would be best to call immediately.”

“I’m glad you did” Imasu assured. “Camille will be pleased to hear that.” Speaking of ...

“How did you two end up working together?” Magnus laughed.

“I guess we’ll have to share that story tonight, won’t we?” he teased. Magus found himself smiling and nodded.

“I guess we will. When and where do you want to meet?” he asked. Imasu gave him the name and address of a bar he had heard of and they settled to meet after Magnus’ work. “I’ll see the both of you tonight then.”

“You will. See you tonight Magnus.” They hang up quickly and Magnus frowned when he met Clary’s weary gaze. “What?”

“You seem ... moved by this call” she said, carefully picking her words.

“I am. Both Camille and Imasu were important to me.”

“Exactly, 'were'. Past tense.” she insisted. “Don’t mess your present, let alone your future, for what used to be.”

“Don’t worry about me, I won’t lose Alec” he assured.

“You better not, because you don’t want to be on his siblings’ bad side, Mags” she warned him before leaving his office.

*******

Alec was finishing up a report, when he heard knocking on his door, before it opened on a brunette head followed by a blonde one. His face broke into a large grin, without him controlling it.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“We thought we could pay a visit to the best prosecutor in the State” answered his sister. “And bring you lunch.”

“In my case, she dragged me here” explained their brother.

“Gee, thanks Jace” muttered Alec. He showed them the chairs, on the other side of his desk, before putting all of his files on the side.

“You know I love you, Alec, but these impromptu visits aren’t really my thing” stated Jace. Alec nodded, knowing his brother didn’t really like to surprise people, let alone during their work. But Isabelle, on the other hand, loved it. Especially when she could spend some time with her brothers.

“Still, it’s been a while since we were able to have some time together so I thought it was important to come and see you.” explained Isabelle.

“And I appreciate it, Izzy. Thanks” he smiled. Isabelle smiled back then took out the different boxes of food, that she had brought from a Chinese restaurant.

“So how are things ?” she asked when they started eating.

“Good. I’m wrapping up some successful cases, so my Monday is going smoothly so far.”

“And with Magnus?” Jace groaned.

“Do we really have to go there?”

“Hush, you” said Isabelle, then turned he attention back to Alec, who had a goofy smile on his face.

“Things are going great. Even perfect actually” he admitted.

“When are you two going to stop acting like you are in that endless honeymoon phase?” groaned Jace. Both Alec and Isabelle glared at him. “It’s true! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you guys fight. That’s not healthy!” Isabelle rolled her eyes.

“Just because you never saw it doesn’t mean it never happened.”

“I’m not talking about small petty fights” he countered. “I’m talking about real fights. The ones where you’re so mad at each other that you need time to fix them. Fights based on real couples’ problems. Not when one forgot to buy sugar or to do the dishes.”

That got Alec to think for a moment. He knew Jace was mostly teasing him but it was true. Him and Magnus had never had that type of fight. They understood each other perfectly, they was a fact, but still, they never talked about deep serious problems that they had. Mostly because they did not have problems, but Jace was right, it was not healthy.

“Alec” started Isabelle. “Don’t let what he said get to your head. It’s perfectly fine if you never fought like that. It’s great, even. Because you and Magnus understand each other so well that you don’t need to. Right Jace?” Her tone had completely changed when she turned to the blond one who didn’t seem that impressed by it.

“Yeah, it’s great. Just be careful, because if it happens one day, you’ll need to know how to deal with it.”

Alec nodded slowly, trying not to think about it but he couldn’t help it. His relationship with Magnus was perfect, on every aspect. They fought about ‘petty things’ as Jace said, but other than that, everything was perfect. Maybe a little too perfect. And it scared him.

*******

Alec had arrived home, before Magnus, as he said he would. The couple had texted each other, and they agreed on what Alec would prepare for their dinner together. So there he was, preparing _Fettuccine Alfredo Pasta_ for them. It was the first dish Alec had cooked for Magnus, so this was reminding him of their first date. So much had changed and evolved since then, that Alec couldn’t stop from feeling unconditionally happy. His phone rang and he frowned almost immediately, recognizing Magnus’ ringtone. He cleaned his hands before picking it up and answering.

“Hey babe” he said.

“Hello love” purred Magnus.Alec could hear chatter behind him, but tried not to focus on it. He knew how he could easily be surrounded by people during his job.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I wanted to tell you, I might be a little late for dinner tonight. I have to meet with some people and I don’t know at what time I will be home” he explained. Not really knowing why, Alec felt a small sting in his heart.

“Oh. Can’t you meet them another day?” he tried.

“I wish I could but no, I can’t miss this exclusive” Magnus sighed. “I’m sorry, Alexander.” Alec shook his head.

“Don’t apologize, I know your job is important.”

“You’re the best, darling” Alec could hear the smile in his voice, making him smile a little.

“I try to be for you, baby. Text me when you know at what time you’ll be here ok?”

“I will, my love. I’ll see you later. I love you” said Magnus.

“I love you too”. Alec hang up and placed his phone on the counter. Well. Now he wasn’t really sure what to do. Magnus could be here in a hour or maybe more. For now, he’ll just finish his cooking and then he’ll see.

*******

“Darling” a sweet voice said. “Alexander.”

Alec started stirring before opening his eyes. He met Magnus’ gaze and looked around and sat up. He was laying on the couch, his empty plate on the table. He didn’t even remember falling asleep.

“What time is it?” he asked, with a groggy voice.

“Almost eleven” muttered Magnus. This time, Alec looked at Magnus and saw he was still in the same clothes he had this morning when Alec left. The only difference was the two top buttons of his shirt that were open. Alec could almost smell the alcohol emanating from him.

“And you just got here?” Magnus made a face.

“Yes, I’m sorry love.”

“You never work this late usually, not when it’s not Fashion week” countered Alec.

“I know” Magnus sighed.

“Then what were you doing?”

“I told you, Alexander. I was meeting with a new designer and the main model of his new collection. They wanted to go grab a drink, we ended up talking a lot and then we had dinner.”

“And you didn’t send me a message to keep me informed” grumbled Alec.

“I did send you a text, Alec.”

Alec frowned, not liking to hear him call ‘Alec’, not in such a serious tone. It sounded wrong in his mouth. He picked up his phone from the coffee table and checked his messages.

 **I apologize, darling, but I won’t be home until late. Don’t wait for me, I’ll join you in bed. I love you.** -Magnus

He had received it a hour and a half ago. Damn, had he been asleep all this time?

“I fell asleep before I could read it. Sorry.”

“It’s alright, let’s go to bed now, okay ?” Magnus offered. Alec simply nodded and followed him to their bedroom. They both undressed themselves, Alec did not bother to fold his clothes, he simply got under the sheets in his underwear while Magnus fold their clothes silently. Then, he joined Alec, who immediately went to him and put his head on his chest. Magnus held him close and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep.

“Magnus, can I ask you something?” started Alec, in a quiet voice.

“Of course, love.”

“Izzy and Jace came to my office for lunch. We talked about you and me.”

“And what did they say?” he asked with a sleepy voice.

“Izzy is happy that everything is going great between the two of us. But Jace basically said that our relationship is a ticking bomb.” Alec felt Magus tense up against him and sighed. “You and I never had a real fight. An argument where we were so mad at each other that we felt the need to be apart for a while.”

“That’s because we always talk things out, darling” he reassured him.

“I know but ...” Alec bit his bottom lip, nervous of the way this conversation could go. “What will happen when we have that big fight? Will you leave me?”

He couldn’t control the tears that grew in his eyes. The thought of losing Magnus was enough to make him sad, but it actually happening was something he could not bear to imagine. Magnus lifted his chin to meet his gaze.

“If a fight like this happen, I won’t leave you, ok? I’ll never leave you, Alexander. I love you too much to ever lose you”. Alec sniffed before nodding.

“I love you too. I can’t lose you” he admitted.

“You won’t, Alexander. I promise” he assured. He held Alec closer to him and kissed him at the top of his head. He knew how insecure Alec could get so he kept stroking his hair, to reassure him, until he was certain he was asleep, then fell asleep himself.

*******

“What’s going on?”

Magnus lifted up his head and smiled when he saw Alec, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Good morning, angel” he smiled. He went up to him and put his arms around his waist to kiss him. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. But what are you doing?”

“Preparing breakfast for you” he smiled like it was obvious. He returned to the kitchen counter, to finish preparing Alec’s plate.

“Why?” couldn’t help but ask the younger one.

“Because I missed dinner with you last night, so I wanted to make up for it.” Alec smile a little bigger and joined Magnus. He loved it when he took care of him this way. It made him feel loved. He hugged him from behind and breathed in deeply, to take in Magnus’ scent.

“You don’t have to make it up to me, baby” he whispered against his hair.

“Of course I do, Alexander” he insisted. He gave Alec his plate and indicated him to go sit at the table. Alec obeyed and was joined by Magnus, who had a plate of his own. Two cups of coffee were already on the table and Alec smiled at that. “I have to tell you” Magnus started, “I won’t be home a lot in the next few days. I have to finish up this month’s issue and it will take a lot of time.”

“Is everything okay ?” Alec asked. It wasn’t like Magnus to stay out of their apartment a lot. Even when he was crawled up in work, he would bring some work home to still be able to spend time with Alec.

“Everything is fine” he assured. “I just need to focus on this issue.” Alec nodded slowly. He understood how Magnus could be stressful. He didn’t like the idea of his boyfriend being more absent from the house but he had to be supportive.

“Just promise me you won’t overwork and take breaks” said Alec.

“I promise, darling” assured Magnus with a wink. Alec smiled at him then he heard his phone ring and picked it up.

“Hey Izzy” he started. “No, I don’t have anything planned, why?” He listened to his sister, smiling at Magnus then nodded. “Of course. I’ll be there. It’s been a while since we didn’t have one of those” he said. “No, I don’t think so ... he’s busy with work but I’ll ask” he explained. “Yeah, ok, see you tonight.” He hang up the phone and looked up to Magnus who had risen his eyebrows, silently asking what was happening.

“Izzy is inviting us for dinner tonight. Jace and Clary will be there, as well. Do you think you’ll be able to come?” Magnus made a face and bit his bottom lip.

“I don’t think so, I have to meet up with some people so ...”

“It’s okay” Alec cut him off. “I understand you have a lot of work, so focus on that and we’ll invite them here next time.”

“Sounds like a plan, darling” Magnus smiled.

*******

“Alec!” Simon exclaimed as he opened the door. Alec smiled and handed him the red wine he had brought. “Thank you! Come on in.” Alec followed him through the apartment and took off his jacket. “Magnus is not coming ?” Simon asked leading him to the living room.

“No, he has to work” sighed Alec. Simon frowned but quickly smiled when they reached the room. Jace, Clary and Isabelle were all seated on the sofa. Isabelle seemed to be in the middle of telling them and amazing story, probably about a corps as usual, and Alec couldn’t help but chuckle. “Hey guys” he started.

“Hey there, big brother!” Isabelle exclaimed. She got up and hugged Alec. Both Clary and Jace got up as well and greeted the new comer.

“Where’s Magnus?” asked Jace, frowning.

“Working” answered Alec. He noticed how confused Clary looked but decided not to focus on it. Clary worked with Magnus, so she knew what he was doing. Who he was meeting with. Alec knew he shouldn’t try and find something wrong in this whole situation but a part of him couldn’t stop. Before Alec met Magnus, he was shy, not confident and always thought he’d spend his life alone. Alec was still a shy man, but he was confident in the fact he was going to spend the rest of his life with Magnus. He had found love and he was not going to lose it anytime soon.

But, he couldn’t stop those small moments of doubt. Those moments when his brain was going over everything he’d ever done wrong and all the possible reasons Magnus had to leave him. Moreover, his talk with Jace and Isabelle hadn’t helped him. If anything, he made him even more weary of what could happen.

Simon came back to the room, handed Alec a beer and sat on the arm of the couch, next to Izzy. Alec sat on the armchair, close to Jace and sipped his beer, while Isabelle started talking again.

“So, enough about me” she started, turning to Clary. “How is work?”

“Good” answered Clary, and Simon nodded. “We’re almost done with the issue of this month. We got the exclusive on a pretty big new collection so Magnus is really excited about that” she smiled. “Now, we just have to get some shots of the collection and we should be done in a couple of days.“ That made Alec frown.

“You already have what you need for the interview?” He asked.

“Yeah. Magnus met them yesterday, got everything we needed. We worked on it today, the article is ready. We have the shoot booked for tomorrow, so by the end of the week, we should be done” Clary explained. Alec hummed, his brows frowned. Magnus told him he had to work, but he didn’t have to work that night. He could have been there, with him and their family. Because everyone considered Magnus family.

“Can you tell us who that mysterious designer is or do you have to keep it a secret?” asked Isabelle.

Clary chuckled. “You’re family so I can tell you. It’s Imasu Morales” Alec froze. “And the main model is Camille Belcourt.” This time, Alec almost let go of his bottle, but managed to keep a still face. “So, yeah, Magnus is working with two of his exes at the same time, but this exclusive is going to be amazing for the magazine, and for Imasu’s collection.” Izzy nodded, understanding Clary’s point of view, while Alec was trying to calm down his nerves. He had to use a strong amount of self-control not to burst into tears right there.

Alec and Magnus, obviously, had the talk about their exes. Alec knew all about Imasu’s and Camille’s importance in his life. Both of them had broken him, really bad. That’s why he was so confused about this situation. Why would Magnus work with them? And, especially, why would he hide it from Alec? He would have been hard for him, but he would have got it. Eventually.

When he got up, everyone looked up at him, confused.

“I have to call Lydia, something about work that I just remembered” he explained. “I’ll be right back.” He quickly walked up to the kitchen, put his bottle on the counter then his hands as well. He dropped his head and breathed in deeply. He knew he should not react like that. Maybe Magnus had a really good reason for hiding it. Perhaps, he didn’t want to hurt Alec. Perhaps, he didn’t want him to worry. But, hiding it made all of this even worse. It made him feel even more confused and suspicious.

He startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and relaxed when he met Jace’s gaze.

“You okay?” he asked. Alec simply nodded, but Jace did not buy it. He tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. “Spill it, Alec”. The dark-haired sighed, slightly annoyed at the fact that Jace could read him so easily but he gave in, because he needed to tell someone. He also needed to know if he was overreacting or not.

“Magnus didn’t tell me he was working with Imasu and Camille” he confessed.

Jace frowned. “So you just discovered who he was working with?” Alec nodded. “You’ve got to be kidding me” he scoffed. This time, it was Alec who frowned, surprised by his reaction.

“What do you mean?” Asked Alec.

“You’re telling me your boyfriend didn’t bother to tell you he had met up again with, not one, but two of his exes and you don’t find it weird?” Jace started. “I know Magnus loves you, and you love him just as much. But he should not be lying to you about something so important, man. You deserve to know the truth.”

“He knew I would have become paranoid if he had told me“ tried Alec.

“But at least, you would have known the truth, and you would have tried to deal with it, to eventually get over it” he countered. Alec dropped his head again. He knew Jace was right. He would have closed himself off to Magnus, trying to deal with the fact that his boyfriend would be seeing his exes for a few days. But, eventually, he would have just accepted it, because he would have know what he was up against. However, in this situation, Magnus didn’t even give him the chance to talk about it.

“Look” Jace started again. “I don’t want you to worry too much, okay? Magnus loves you. Tonight, when you go home, ask him about it. Confront him, Alec. Do not try to hide the fact that you’re hurt. I am serious, man, you have to talk about it.”

“But I don’t want to fight with him“ muttered Alec. Jace gave him a soft smile.

“It doesn’t have to be a fight, Alec. I know what I told you yesterday, but you and Magnus are something else. Just talk about what you need to and if it comes to a fight, do not run. Face it.”

Alec nodded and hugged Jace. They both tried to limit their ‘soft’ moments like that, not liking to show their vulnerability. But they both had spent so much time relying on each other that they needed these moments when they could just let go of everything. Jace clapped a hand on Alec’s back and took a step back.

“I’ll be there, no matter what happens” he promised. Alec nodded, smiling lightly then they both joined their friends.

*******

Magnus stumbled through the apartment he shared with Alec, trying to hold his laugh. He didn’t know what time it was exactly but he knew it was late. Too late for Alec to still be awake, so he had to be quiet to join his lover in their bed. He had met with Imasu and Camille again. This time, they went to a bar, then to a restaurant to finally end up at a nightclub Camille absolutely wanted to go to. It had been a while since Magnus had been out with friends, so he had agreed. Alec was spending the night with his siblings, so it didn’t really matter if he came home late.

He noticed a small light coming from underneath their bedroom door. He couldn’t help but smile. Alec had let their bedside lamp on, for Magnus not to stumble around in the dark. His angel was so good to him. He quietly entered to room and smiled even widely when he saw Alec, sleeping on his side of bed. He went up to him, lightly stroke his hair then went to the bathroom, to shower away the smell of alcohol.

After a warm shower, he put on a pair of black boxers and joined their bedroom again. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Alec, sat up against the headboard, wide awake this time. “Hey there” smiled Magnus. He joined Alec on the bed and kissed his cheek. He frowned when he noticed the bags under Alec’s eyes, as well as the way his lips were tight. “Why are you awake, love? You should be sleeping, you have to work tomorrow.”

“Where were you?” Alec asked. He had to at least give Magnus a chance to tell him and explain why he had lied.

“You know how my work can get, darling. Some stylists like to party and I can’t really turn them down. Not if I want to stay on their good side” he chuckled, but didn’t get the reaction he hoped for as Alec stayed still.

“Who’s the stylist? Must be someone important for you to stay out so late” Alec said. Magnus frowned a bit, not really sure where all of this was coming from.

“He’s the future star of the fashion world. Everybody’s waiting for his new collection. To be the magazine with this exclusive is really important so ...”

“Why are you stalling, Magnus?” Alec cut him off. He was literally giving him the chance to tell him the truth. To admit that he had hidden things from him, but still. He was still trying to cover it.

“Darling, what are you ...”

“I can’t do this” Alec sighed. He got off the bed, took one the pillows and a blanket that was at the end of the bed. He had tried. He had tried to give Magnus the chance to tell him the truth but he didn’t take it. If Alec didn’t feel betrayed before, he sure did now. Magnus had never lied to him before. Not about something so important.

Magnus started to worry. “Alexander, what is going on?”

“Why are you hiding it from me?” He replied. His voice seemed so sad. Magnus hated to see his boyfriend like this, but he couldn’t understand what was happening.

“Alexander ...” He tried again.

“I know you’re seeing Imasu and Camille” he dropped in a quiet voice. Magnus felt his heart drop. “Izzy asked Clary if she could tell us and I guess she supposed I knew about it so she told us everything.” This time, Magnus looked at his lap, not wanting to face Alec’s completely distrusted face. “She also said that you were almost done with this month’s issue and basically implied you should not be working this much. Especially not out with your exes.” A fake laugh left his mouth.

Magnus was now playing with his fingers. So Clary told him. He should have expected this actually. He never told her not to talk about it, so of course she was going to. She had every right to.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch” Alec muttered in a small voice.

“Alexander, please, stay” Magnus tried.

“I can’t sleep next to you, Magnus” Alec countered. “Not when you can lie to me so easily.” He shook his head, then left the bedroom, trying to hold his tears.

“Alexander ...” He heard Magnus say, but he didn’t turn around. Not this time. He loved Magnus. God, he loved him so much. That’s why he hurt so much as well. He reached the couch, placed the pillow on it and then fell on it. He knew he told Jace he would face the problem and talk about it with Magnus, but how could he do it when Magnus wasn’t even admitting the problem? He laid on his right side, facing the couch and let the tears fall until he fell asleep.

When he woke up again, he felt his sore back and groaned, knowing this day would be complicated. He laid on his back and stiffen. There was someone next to him. On the floor. He turned his head and shot his eyebrows up when he saw Magnus. He had a pillow underneath his head, a blanket covering him and he was curled up on himself. He had decided to come sleep there. To be next to him, in a way. His heart fluttered and he just wanted to cuddle the man he loved and comfort him.

It seemed to be still dark outside, meaning he had some time left before getting up for work. He sit on the couch and stretched his arms above his head. He then crouched next to Magnus and took him, holding him bridal-style. Magnus mumbled in his sleep, making Alec smile. The younger walked up to their room and laid Magnus on their bed. He then laid next to him and brought Magnus to his chest. Magnus curled up against him and let out a deep sigh, in his sleep.

Alec stroke his hair, and breathed in his smell. It felt nice, to just lay there with the man he loved, not caring about what was happening. He felt Magnus move a little but didn’t pay attention to it, thinking he was still asleep. But then he froze, when he heard his voice.

“I’m sorry.” Alec closed his eyes when he heard Magnus’ voice, thick with tears. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to worry you” Now, he was crying, as Alec felt tears on his chest. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Alexander. That was never my intention.”

“I know, you wanted to protect me” Alec assured.

“But I failed, because I hurt even more.”

“You did“ Alec agreed. Magnus curled up even more against him, needed to be as close to him, as possible. He wouldn’t lie to Magnus. He had been hurt. He still was, actually. That’s why he was going to use Jace’s advice and talk about it. “When did you start seeing them ?” Alec asked.

Magnus was silent for a few minutes, before he sighed and started talking.

“On Monday“ he said. “Imasu wanted to speak to me directly, so we talked then we met for drinks. We started talking, then Camille joined us. I thought I couldn’t spend an hour with them, that it would be unbearable, but it wasn’t. We had a great time, talking about our pasts, what was happening in our life ... Then we just couldn’t leave each other so we ended up having dinner.”

“You bailed on me because you wanted to spend time with your exes” Alec said. That was in deed one way of summarize it.

“I did” admitted Magnus. “I was just having a good time, Alexander, I ...”

“Are you bored with me?” Alec cut him off. He detached himself from Magnus and met his confused gaze. “Do you find me boring ? Do you find our life _together_ boring?” His voice had gotten higher, but he couldn’t control it. Having Magnus finding him boring and deciding to leave him was his deepest fear. If that was the case, he couldn’t force Magnus to stay with him.

“Of course not, Alexander!” Magnus assured.

“Then why did you do it? You never bail on me, Magnus. Never. Why did you? And why did you lie about who you were meeting?”

“I didn’t lie to you about what I was doing” Magnus countered.

Alec sat up, scoffing. “Are we really playing on words right now?”

“I’m sorry for hiding that Imasu and Camille had contacted me, I should’ve told you” Magnus started. “I didn’t want you to worry because I was spending time with my exes. I know you, and I know how you get, Alexander. I didn’t want you to doubt me.”

“Oh, so you thought lying would do it? That doesn’t exactly show me that I can trust you” he said, ironically.

“I know, that was not my best decision. I sincerely apologize for that. I promise I’ll be crystal clear to you, from now on. I apologize for not telling you I was seeing Imasu and Camille. I should’ve just told you, because I love you and you love me and I shouldn’t be scared to tell you the truth. No matter how unpleasant it is.”

That made Alec smile a little. He did love Magnus, and he knew Magnus loved him too. He hated that Magnus had lied to him, but that sort of things happened in a relationship. The best way to overcome theses difficult moments was to forgive each other, because they loved each other. So, he took Magnus’ hands in his and held them tight.

“You owe me dinner“ he teased.

Magnus chuckled lightly. “I do. How does tomorrow sound? I’ll be mostly done with the issue so we could spend the night together” he offered.

Alec pecked his cheek. “Sounds perfect“ Magnus smiled back and his eyes turned soft. “Please don’t hide things from me anymore” Alec almost begged, in a small voice.

Magnus moved a hand to stroke Alec’s hair. “I won’t, love, I promise. No more secrets.” Alec nodded, feeling better by this promise. “I love you, Alexander” tried Magnus.

Alec looked up and smiled at his boyfriend. ”I love you too, Magnus.”

*******

“Alec! I wasn’t expecting you!” Jace exclaimed. Alec smiled at his adoptive brother and showed him the plastic bag he was holding.

“I had to stop by to collect some evidence for a case, so I thought we could have lunch together and talk a bit” he explained. Jace nodded and led him to the break room, not far from his desk. They both sat, facing each other and Alec started to take out some boxes.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Jace asked, directly.

“I wanted to thank you” Alec smiled lightly. Jace smirked.

“Why?”

“For your great advices, of course” Alec teased. Jace laughed this time and nodded.

“You and Magnus talked, right?”

“Yeah, we did” Alec admitted. “It was hard but we managed to get through it.” Jace nodded.

“Did he tell you why he lied?”

“Well, to quote Magnus, he didn’t lie, he just hid the truth” Alec chuckled.

“Please, tell me you didn’t buy this?” Jace deadpanned.

“Of course not!” He exclaimed. “I know I can come off a bit naïve but ...”

“A bit?” Jace interrupted.

“But” started again Alec. “Being with Magnus taught me how to be more confident and to stand up to things that don’t seem right. In that case, the fact that he hid this from me and tried to find a way out of the discussion was out of line. He shouldn’t have done it, he apologized for it and I forgave him.” Jace nodded.

“So everything is just like before?”

“It is” Alec confirmed. “I’d say it’s even better than before. We’ve been so open to each other that I feel like I’m on top of the world.” Jace chuckled, happy to see his brother like this.

“I’m glad. I hope you’ll only go uphill from now on.”

“I think we’re headed into that direction” Alec admitted.

*******

Alec was waiting. He had been waiting for an hour now. Magnus had invited him to dinner. Before they left this morning, Magnus had told him to come home, get dressed and be ready to leave. So he had. After a long afternoon at work, he couldn’t stop thinking about his boyfriend and the night that was waiting for them. After all the talk they had done the night before, Alec thought that this night would be the one where they would rekindle and discover each other again. He thought they would take the time to have dinner, talk then come home and make love for as long as they needed to.

Apparently, he had been wrong to think so because here he was again, waiting for Magnus to come home. He looked at his phone and sighed when he saw the time. He run a hand through his hair and closed his eyes. He couldn’t panic. He had to stop himself from panicking and imaging the worse. His heart jumped when he heard his phone pined with a text. From Magnus.

 **Hello, love. I am so so sorry but I won’t be able to make it to dinner tonight. The pictures for the shoot came in late, I have to select them and work with the photographer. I’ll probably have an all-nighter so don’t wait for me. Sleep tight darling, love you.** -Magnus

He had to work. Again. Alec knew he should just believe him and just go on with his night but he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop imagining the worse. After all, who could blame him when he had every right to ? He ignored Magnus’ text and dialed Clary’s number. She picked quickly.

“Hey Alec! How are you?” She asked in her light voice.

“Fine. Are you home?” He asked. He couldn’t waste time. He had to know the truth.

“I am. Why? Is Magnus not home yet?”

“Not, he is not.” Alec said.

“Well, I left a bit before him, but he was almost finished with his work so he should come home soon, don’t worry” she assured him. Alec’s hand tightened around his phone. So he was lying to him this time. Perfect.

“Alright, thanks Clary. Good night.” He didn’t wait for her answer and hung up. He threw his phone on the coffee table and took his head in his hands. Before he knew it, the tears were coming down his cheeks. He was an idiot. God, he was so stupid. He had forgiven Magnus, he had believed him and trusted him, because he loved him. But once again, Magnus had not hesitated to disappoint and betray him. Alec couldn’t take it anymore. He just couldn’t.

*******

When Magnus came home, it was close to dawn. Well, he could already see the sunlight picking through the night and he knew Alec would be pissed. Coming home around midnight was one thing, but spending the entire night out of the apartment was another. He would have to work really hard to explain himself but Alec would understand. He knew he would. They loved each other so they could overcome everything together.

Well, first, he needed to take a shower and change because he reeked with alcohol. It had been a while since he last spend an entire night out. Ever since he was with Alec, he had settle a bit. Well, a lot compared to before but it felt nice a way. He loved spending nights-in with Alec. But he couldn’t hide the fact that it was nice to go out and enjoy himself like that. He was thankful, in a way, for Imasu and Camille, because they lit up a part of him that had shut down until now.

He took off his jacket and walked to the living room and froze when he saw Alec, seating on the couch. He was wearing a grey shirt, a pair of black jeans, black shoes and his jacket was on the back of the couch. As if he were ready to leave. He took a few more steps into the room and a saw a bag on the floor, next to him. Magnus knew he was not going to like this conversation.

“Alexander?” He tried. Damn it. Even his voice was betraying his fear.

Alec didn’t move, he just breathed in deep and handed his phone to Magnus. Magnus hesitated but got closer to take it. He gasped when he saw a picture of himself, drinking with Imasu and Camille, in the club they were just in. Someone, a fan probably, must have taken it and posted in online. So Alec knew Magnus had lied. Great.

“Did you have a good time?” Alec asked.

“I did, yes” Magnus didn’t see any point of lying. “They’ll leave the city soon, so they wanted to celebrate our collaboration.”

Alec nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad you spent a great night.”

“Alexander ...”

“Don’t.” He interrupted him. “Please, just don’t.” He breathed in deep and exhaled. He looked at the ceiling, as if he were trying to hold his tears. Magnus was watching him carefully, waiting for the next thing he would say. “I’m going to spend some time at Jace’s.”

“No!” Magnus exclaimed. “Don’t leave, Alexander. Please.”

“You’re barely here, Magnus, what difference does it make ?”

“I’ll be home more, I promise” he quickly said.

“Don’t make anymore promises. You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Alexander ...” He was crying now. Alec closed his eyes, he couldn’t stand to see Magnus cry. “Don’t leave, darling, please.” Magnus continued. He got on his knees, next to Alec, trying to get him to look at him.

“I think that’s the best thing for us, right now.” Alec sighed. “We need time apart ... To think about our relationship, if it is really what we want.”

“Of course I want you, Alexander!” Magnus assured. “I love you, I can’t be without you. I need you in my life, I need to be with you.”

“That’s rather ironical given the situation, don’t you think?” Alec scoffed. He run his hands on his face, then scratched his chin. Magnus hadn’t answered and, honestly, it was for the best. There truly was nothing he could say in his defense. He was the one who messed up. Alec was in the higher position. He was the one who had been hurt. It killed him in the inside to have this conversation, but it was inevitable. It had to be done even though he wished he didn’t have to do this.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” He started again. “I know how you dive into work but don’t forget to sleep. And eat, please.” Magnus got up, tears still steaming down his face, and turned away. He couldn’t just let Alec leave like that. He couldn’t. He had to make up for everything he had done. Alec did not deserve to be treated like this.

“Alexander ...” Magnus started, turning to face Alec but stopped when he saw something in his hands. Alec was still seated, but this time, his hands were playing with a small black box. Magnus stopped breathing. Was it ... No, it couldn’t be. It was impossible.

“I brought this a few days ago” Alec began. “I was planning on cooking dinner for you, spend the entire night telling you how much I love you, how important you are to me, how much I need you in my life. Then, I would have made love to you, to show you how much I love you. After that, I would have proposed and I guess you would have said yes. I was hoping you would, at least” Alec laughed, sadly. “But now, I’m not sure. I’m not sure of anything ...“ He admitted.

Magnus had stayed silent the entire time he was speaking and the tears kept streaming. At this point, he couldn’t even try to stop them. They were beyond his control. He hated himself so much at this very moment. He wanted to slap himself mentally, but his mind was blank. He was so focused on what Alec was telling him that he couldn’t even think straight anymore.

Alec stoop up and faced Magnus. It was the first time their gazes met since Magnus came home and God, he was actually hoping they hadn’t. Alec’s eyes were so full of sorrow, disappointment, mistrust and ... heartbreak. Well, if Magnus thought he couldn’t hate himself more, he was wrong, because seeing Alec’s eyes, usually so full of joy and love, full of sadness and resignation, made it happen.

“Here, take it” he continued, handing the box to Magnus. “You get to decide what you want to do with it.” Magnus’ shaky hand took it, and Alec leaned to pick up his jacket, then his bag, with the same hand. “I don’t know when I’ll be back, if I’ll even be back.”

“Please” Magnus begged. Alec smiled sadly. It hurt him to see Magnus like this, but he couldn’t stand the current situation they were in. That was important for him. He needed Magnus to understand he wasn’t some toy he could just play with and then leave when something better came along. That was not the Magnus he had fallen in love with. The Magnus he had fallen in love with never would have bailed on him, twice, lied to him, especially not for his exes. Alec knew Magnus loved him as well, but right now, he needed to take time to heal his shattered heart.

“I can’t have this conversation right now” he admitted. “Everything you’re feeling is still raw, I need you to think about what happened, the choices you made, the things you did to me” explained Alec. “When all of that is clear to you. When you’ve made up your mind about what you want to do, what you want in life and who you want in it, come to me. Even if you’ll break my heart, I’ll want to see one last time before it ends” he confessed. He cupped Magnus’ cheek and stroke his cheekbone.

The love he felt for this man was consuming him. He used to love it. He still did, actually. But if Magnus decided to let go of their relationship, he’d have to learn how to live without it. He didn’t know if he could do it, to go over Magnus impossible but if Magnus wanted - needed - it, he would do it. As his last gift.

“Bye, Magnus” Alec concluded. He nodded one last time and walked past his boyfriend —if they still were in a relationship— to leave the apartment. The sound of the closing door ringed in their ears. Alec was still holding the doorknob, a part of him hoping Magnus would come to get him. That was his weak side. His rational side knew he had to let go and leave the building. He dropped his head and sighed. He had to stay strong, or Magnus would never learn and their relationship would just stay the same. That was not what he wanted. He took a few steps back and looked at their door, a sad smile on his face. He knew this wasn’t it. He knew he was going to see Magnus again, he just wasn’t sure what to expect from their next encounter.

Magnus hadn’t moved since Alec left. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t. Alec had left him. He had left him all alone, heartbroken and with a _freaking ring_. Magnus hated him so much right now. But he hated himself so much more. Idiot did even begin to cover what he thought of himself. He had done everything wrong. He had hidden the truth from Alec. He had promise not to hide anything, before doing it again. He had lied to him, after he also promised not to. He knew how much Alec believed in promises. How important they were to him. And there he was … Lying to the man he loved with all his heart for his exes. He was pathetic.

Alec was the best thing that ever happened to Magnus. Ever since their first meeting. Magnus knew he needed to have Alec in his life. Not just as a friend, but as his partner. His life partner. It had been complicated for them to start their relationship, mainly because Alec didn’t think he was good enough for Magnus. After a few attempts, Magnus had managed to convince Alec that he was more than enough for him. That he was even too good for him. Ever since their first date, Magnus had had the confirmation that Alec was the missing piece that he had been looking for his entire life. Their relationship had grown stronger and deeper. They both brought something new and exciting to the other’s life. They completed each other, in a way no one had ever done it before. They were meant to be together. Magnus had never been so happy before. Alec was everything Magnus had ever wished for and now … he was all alone, crying because he had messed up.

He let himself fall to the ground and stayed there, contemplating how much he had screwed up his own life. How much he might have lost Alexander.

*******

“Magnus?” Clary tried. The little red-haired came in the apartment and furrowed her brows. Everything was dark. The curtains were closed. All the lights were turned off. It almost seemed as if no one was there. But Clary knew better.

Alec had come to her and Jace’s apartment really early in the morning, with nothing but a bag in his hands. Obviously, Jace didn’t lose time to ask what was going on and it took all of Clary’s effort to calm him down after Alec explained what happened between him and Magnus. Magnus and Alec had met through Jace and Clary’s relationship. Magnus was Clary’s adoptive brother. So when Jace had invited her to spend time with him and his friends, she invited Magnus so she didn’t have to be alone. Not only did she had the confirmation that Jace was the love of her life, but Magnus also met his. From the first moment Magnus laid his eyes on Alec, Clary knew he was in it for it. So Clary made sure Magnus got his man. Their relationship was so pure and honest, she had to help them get back together because they were just meant to be.

“Magnus?” she tried again. This time she got an answer. She heard a groan coming from the master bedroom. She turned on the lamp on her phone and walked to the room. She slowly opened the door and turned on the light of the room. Her eyes immediately settled on the bed, where Magnus was lying, in a fœtal position, underneath the sheets and trembling. She let out a light sigh, then joined Magnus on the bed. She spooned him from behind and hugged him tight.

“Have you eaten today ?” she asked in a delicate tone. Magnus simply shook his head. “Hm, Alec went to work without eating as well. But I’m sure Jace will feed him at some point.”

“How is he ?” Magnus asked. Clary could hear how broken his voice was.

“He’s hanging in there” she admitted. “He was really broken, you know ? Jace told he’d never seen him so down.” Magnus let out a gasp, before he started shaking again, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I’m a monster” he said. “I destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t deserve Alec. I deserve to be alone, miserable, and …”

“Shut up, Magnus!” Clary cut him off with a harsh tone. “You don’t deserve to be alone nor miserable. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life, Mags. You and Alec are meant to be, so stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Magnus sniffled but didn’t answer. There was nothing he could say, really. He had spend a good part of his early-life being bounced from one home to another, always getting his hopes high before they were crushed down when his foster parents decided to give him away.

When he had met Jocelyn, he had built his walls up. He had learn how to not get too attached, how to be ready to be given up. But Jocelyn hadn’t. She had stayed. With her came Luke and Clary and, once Magnus had opened up, he got surrounded with so much love that he didn’t know what to do with it. Clearly, he still didn’t know what to do with love considering he had broken the heart of the love of his life.

Seeing Magnus deep in his thoughts, Clary decided to try and make him understand that everything wasn’t completely lost. “You know, when Mom brought you home, I was so excited. I mean, I’ve always wanted a sister, but when I met you, I knew there was no one I would rather have than you. You slowly opened up to me, you guided me, you helped me grow, you comforted me when I needed it, you gave me the pep talks I needed. You were the best brother I could ever asked for. You have so much love to give, you care so much about the people close to you, you’d make anything to make them happy, even if it meant hurting yourself in the process.”

Clary held him tighter. “I know you didn’t want to hurt Alec. He knows it too, that’s why he left. For the first time since you two met, you did something selfish because it made you happy. Granted, lying to him was not the best thing to do, but those last few days made you happy. So, in a way, I understand why you did it. However, you made Alec doubt your love for him. You made him believe you didn’t love him as much as he thought you did and you need to fix that.”

“He’s the man of life” Magnus whispered.

Clary nodded. “I know. Deep down, he knows it too. He just needs you to remind him and make sure he doesn’t forget it.”

Magnus went silent for a few moment, but Clary knew it was a good sign. He had stopped crying, meaning he was thinking. He was thinking of a way to fix this situation.

“I need to stop mopping and fight for my man, right ?” he asked.

Clary laughed. “That’s the perfect way to sum it up” she said. Magnus nodded and turned around to face her.

“You’re right. I can’t stay here and let Alec believe that I don’t want to fight for him. For us. He’s my entire life, I need him to understand that.”

“Then go get your man, Magnus.”

*******

Alec sighed as he got out of the elevator. He felt exhausted. It was almost like someone had drained all the energy he had in his body, so now he was left like an empty shell. To be honest, it was sort of what had actually happened. Like he had told Jace and Izzy before, he and Magnus never had a fight this big. So having left like that, with their issue unsolved, he didn’t know what to do nor how to act. What was he supposed to do? Should he give Magnus some time like he said he would? Should he fight for his man? Should he just forget about him? How did these things work? He had absolutely no clue. The only thing he knew for sure was that he missed Magnus with all his heart. He missed him so much that he thought he was imagining him when he heard his voice while stepping into Jace and Clary’s apartment. Except he wasn’t.

“For the love of God, Jace, stop being stubborn and let me talk to Alec” Magnus insisted once again.

“No, no way” refused Jace. “I’m not letting you break my brother’s heart again.”

“I am not going to break his heart, trust me” Magnus assured. “If anything I’m going to make sure his heart is properly taken care of.”

“Oh by you, you mean ?” Jace snickered.

“Jace, please” tried Clary.

“What is going on here?” Alec asked. All three turned to look at him and Alec thought he was going to faint. Magnus was _gorgeous._ He hadn’t seen him since two night before and it physically hurt him to see him in the flesh. He was wearing a deep red suit, a black shirt underneath the jacket and black dress shoes. And if the suit wasn’t enough, he was wearing his usual set of necklaces that Alec loved to play with, his eyes were surrounded by thick kohl lines and his hair were spiked up with a red strand. What confused Alec though, were his bear hands. Magnus always wore rings, many of them on both hands. He didn’t know what to think of this.

“Alexander” said Magnus. Hearing his name like made Alec’s heart clench. God, how could he be so weak in front of someone? “I have something to show you, and many, many things to say to you.”

“And why should he listen to anything you have to say?” spat the blond man.

“Jace” Alec and Clary called him out at the same time.

“Are you sure you want to talk to me right now?” asked Alec to Magnus. “I told you I was willing to give you time …”

“I shouldn’t have agreed to that in the first place” Magnus replied, taking a step towards him. “Are you free, right now?” Alec bit his bottom lip, not sure what to answer. He wanted so badly to follow him but was it the best decision? Should he wait a little longer? Should he just follow his heart and let Magnus explain himself? All his thoughts were tangled, not allowing him to think straight and, they all cleared out when Magnus cupped his face with his two hands.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but I would really appreciate it, Alexander.”

Alec could read Magnus’ thoughts so easily through his eyes, and right now, Magnus was completely honest. He needed Alec to follow him so they could talk and, honestly, Alec was way too weak to refuse him anything. He let go of Alec’s face, not wanting to pressure him in any way and felt relieved when he answered.

“Okay. I’ll follow you” he agreed. Magnus’ bright smile brought a small one to his lips and he found himself unable to contain the happiness growing inside his stomach. The same butterflies he had felt he first met Magnus. He looked down at his boyfriend’s hands, that were shaking in fear, took them and felt immediately better.

“Let’s go, then.”

*******

When Alec decided to follow Magnus, he thought they were heading to a fancy restaurant, to a five-stars hotel or something of … Magnus’ style but no, they were driving through Brooklyn, and when Alec thought they were going to cross the bridge, he realized they were staying in Brooklyn Heights. What could Magnus possibly want to show him here? The entire neighborhood was filled with townhouses. Why on Earth would Magnus bring him here? To rub in the fact that they might not be able to live together after that night?

“Magnus, where are you taking me?” he then asked, starting to worry.

“Trust me, darling, you’re going to love it” Magnus promised.

Yeah, well, Alec wasn't so sure. He wanted to trust Magnus, he did, but, after everything that had happened, how could he trust that Magnus was not going to break his heart all over again? This was a terrible idea. He should have listened to Jace and not have followed him. He wanted to go back. He needed to put some distance between him and Magnus because it hurt to be so close to him, but not knowing what was happening.

As he was about to say something, the car stopped in front of one of the townhouses. This one was particularly beautiful. The exterior was of a red brick color, which was simple in a way, but Alec felt drawn to the house. He couldn’t explain it, but he was feeling a sort of connection, and that made him even more anxious.

“Are you coming?” Alec turned his head towards Magnus, who was sending him a shy smile. He slowly nodded and they both got out of the car. Magnus walked around it and joined Alec on the sidewalk.

“Let’s go” he said, nodding towards the house. Alec followed him, weary of what was could happen. Magnus took a key out of his pocket and opened the door. He turned on the lights and moved aside so Alec could come in too. His eyes widen as he step foot in the empty house. He walked inside the entry, as Magnus closed the door behind them and walked towards what seemed to be the living room. He could see the kitchen from where he was standing but Magnus caught his attention.

“Let’s go upstairs” Magnus instructed. Alec didn’t respond and followed Magnus upstairs. He thought they were stopping on that floor but it seemed Magnus had other plans as he walked up to the next floor. Alec had time to see there were two rooms. He quickly walked to the last floor and they landed in a completely empty room. Magnus turned his head to him, biting his bottom lip and indicated a door. Alec tilted his head to the side, even more weary, because Magnus rarely got nervous. He went up to the door and opened it slowly. He took a few steps but couldn’t see anything, as all the lights were turned off. Magnus had turned all of them on as they had walked in the house so he waited for him to do it this time too but nothing happened. He turned around and saw Magnus by the door, his hand on the doorframe and deep in his thoughts.

“Magnus? What are you doing? You’re not going to kidnap me, are you?” he tried to joke, but still worried.

“I’m just… scared” Magnus muttered in a low voice.

“Scared of what?”

“Your reaction.”

Alec grew even more worried. Magnus was never scared. He was always so sure of himself, but it seems Alec managed to even change that in him.

“You know me, Magnus. Even better than I know myself. If you think I will like this, you have nothing to worry about.” This seemed to convince him because he smiled a little, and seemed more confident. Alec took a few more steps into the room before Magnus turned on the lights and Alec gasped. This room was clearly the master bedroom. It was huge, and Alec wanted to take in the entirety of the room but his gaze was attracted towards the mattress on the floor. It was covered with a white comforter and red roses petals. So many of them. There were also a bouquet placed at the middle of the mattress. Alec bend to take them and chuckled lightly. They were his favorites. He hated admitting it, because he hates being such a cliché but he knew he could be himself with Magnus. He put his nose in them and inhaled before turning to Magnus and gasping.

Magnus was knelt down on one knee, an open box in his hands, with a beautiful, beautiful ring inside of it and what really took Alec’s breath away, he was wearing the ring he had bought him. On his left ring finger.

“Magnus...” said Alec quietly. He took a better look at the ring and almost cried. Magnus really did know him well. The ring was simple but perfect for him. It was made of silver, with a thin gold line in the middle. It even matched Magnus’ one. His was a large silver ring, with two lines of gold surrounding it. It took him quite some time to find one that he absolutely love and that he knew Magnus would adore, but he had reminded himself that Magnus would love it anyway because he was the one giving it to him.

“I know, this was not at all how I had planned to ask you to marry me” started Magnus. “Well, for starters, I had not planned for you to be the first to propose. I had not planned for us to have such a big fight. I had not planned for you to leave the apartment. I … clearly had not imagined any of this. However, the only thing I knew for sure was that I was going to be down on one knee, shaking in fear, with you holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers and with this, beautiful expression on your face.”

Alec bit his bottom lip, still feeling shy when Magnus complimented him.

“And clearly, I had not thought this through because staying on one knee hurts like hell” he joked. Alec let out a small laugh and helped him get on his feet. Magnus thanked him, straightened his clothes and looked at Alec in the eyes.

“Alexander, I know these past few days must have shaken you up and you might not trust me anymore. But I need you to know, I want to spend the rest of my life with you” he admitted.

“Are you sure you want to marry me?“ Alec asked, his heart clenching. Magnus might not have asked the question yet but he had to ask. He needed to hear his answer first.

“I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, ever since I first laid eyes on you, angel” Magnus admitted. “You and I are different, on so many levels. You hate parties, you genuinely do not care about fashion and would wear the same shirt for years if it were up to you. You hate to be the center of attention. You don’t care about the details, as long as you can get straight to the point. You care so much about people. You’re willing to give up everything if it meant getting justice for those who deserve it. You put the needs of your loved ones above your own. You treat your family with so much love. You treat me with so much love, that I don’t even know if I deserve it or not” he listed. “They are the reasons why I love you so much, Alexander. You complete me. You ground me. You remind me everyday that there is more to life and you are the one I want to spend it with. I want to share all the discoveries, all my future memories, good and bad, with you. I know I’ve never told you all of this. I never explained to you how important you are to me, so of course you were going to doubt my love.”

Alec shook his head. “I never doubted your love.”

“But you doubted you” Magnus insisted. “That never should have happened.” He took a step closer and stroked Alec cheek. “I cut all ties with Imasu and Camille. They are out of my life for good, so you don’t need to worry about them anymore. I know I hurt you because of them and for that I am sorry. I never should have given you a reason to feel the way you felt when you saw me with them.”

“You don’t have to do that for me …”

“Yes, I do, angel” Magnus insisted. “My top priority is to make you happy. Plus, I don’t need them in my life. Only you.”

Alec bit his bottom lip again and slightly nodded. Magnus took a step back, inhaling, to gather up his courage.

“So, Alexander Gideon Lightwood …”

“My middle name, really?” he groaned.

Magnus chuckled lightly. “Alexander, my angel, would you do me the honor and privilege of marrying me?” Alec nodded multiple times before he grabbed Magnus’ neck and smacked their lips together. He felt so good. Like he was breathing again. Ever since they first met, Alec knew Magnus was going to impact his life in the best possible way. And he had, every single day since. One of Alec’s biggest fear was that Magnus would one day leave him for someone fancier, richer or more interesting all-together than Alec but he hadn’t. He had always come home to Alec. He had always made him feel like the luckiest man in the world and now, Alec got to give that back to him for the rest of their lives.

Magnus laughed through their kiss, causing him to lean back and furrow his brows.

“You could at least let me put the ring on it” he teased. Alec opened his mouth, ready to accept but registered what he’d just say.

“Did you really just made a Beyoncé pun while proposing?”

“It was too good to miss, darling” he laughed.

“God I love you” Alec exhaled. Magnus exhaled as well, but Alec hadn’t even noticed he had been holding his breath. As if he had expected Alec to not love him the same. “I love you Magnus Bane” he reassured him.

“Lightwood-Bane” he corrected.

“We’re not married yet” Alec reminded him. Magnus lifted his brows and put the ring on his finger, before taking his hand in his left one. Alec looked at both their hands together and these rings looked perfect on them.

“See? We’re both wearing matching rings, we’re in love and already live together. The wedding is just a technicality.”

“Oh, so you wouldn’t mind skipping it and just elope?” He could see the struggle in Magnus’ eyes, and was already laughing in the inside because his answer was going to be interesting.

“If it is what you truly desire, then I wouldn’t mind Alexander. As long as you’re happy” Alec’s shoulders slumped and his eyes grew wide.

“That’s so typical of you. Saying things that make my heart flutter and make me lose my words” he complained while his fiancé laughed. His fiancé. God, he couldn’t quite believe it yet.

“I hope to render you speechless at least once a day, angel. I love you” he murmured.

“I love you too” answered Alec and kissed him again. Magnus’s hands went to his hair to kiss him more deeply and slightly tugged them, knowing how much Alec loved that but this time, Alec was the one to stop the kiss.

“Where are we?”

“What?”

“This house. Whose is it?” he asked.

“Ours, darling.”

“Come again?”

Magnus took his hands and led him to the mattress on the floor. They both sat on it but Alec wasn’t less worried. What did he mean by theirs? Alec would most definitely remembered if he had bought a house.

“I bought it for us” Magnus started again. “I figured it was the logical next step. I imagined you were going to say yes, that we should start thinking about having a family ...”

“A family?” Alec echoed, his voice full of hope. “Together?”

“Of course, Angel” Magnus assured. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to raise kids with you. I want to grow old with you. I want and need to have you by side for the rest of my life, if you'll have me.”

“Of course I'll have you, Mags” Magnus’ smile grew wider and leaned to kiss Alec again. Showing him all the love he had for this beautiful man, who was now his fiancé. He couldn’t quite believe it yet. After those last few days, he was certain Alec was going to ask for some time. Well, he had, but he didn’t actually think he would get the chance to apologize and conquer him again and most certainly not to become his fiancé. But yet again, Alec had proved him that their love was beyond words and that they loved each other too much to let the first difficulty in their way break them. They were stronger than that. And Magnus believed it now. Alec kissed him a last time, then took the time to look at Magnus. To truly look at him.

“You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on” he whispered.

“Darling” Magnus whispered back. There was so much sincerity beneath those words that Magnus couldn’t even make a witty comment like he usually does. He couldn’t do it when Alec was being honest about his feelings for him. Not during these moments. And this particular moment was ruined when Alec’s stomach grumbled. They both laughed and , in this particular instant, their instant, Magnus felt he was falling even deeper in love with Alec.

“Is there anything to eat here?” The younger one asked.

“No, but we could order take out?”

“Great idea! And while we wait, maybe you could … show me the house?” Magnus had to bit his lip not to chuckle because of Alec’s shyness.

“You and I are going to live here, so I must show it to you, in details. And maybe, after we’ve eaten, we could inaugurate our house …”

“You mean with sex?” Alec chuckle.

Magnus rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yes, darling with sex.” Alec quickly stood up, surprising Magnus.

“What are you waiting for? Get up, the faster we order, the faster I can get my hands on you and you have no idea how much I’ve missed touching you” he admitted. Magnus laughed again and stood up too to face his man.

“What happened to the shy young man that I met three years ago?” he teased.

“You fucked him right.” Magnus barked out a laugh, while Alec put his hands on his fiancé’s hips. “You treated him well. You took care of him. You made him happy again. You made him smile. You made him have faith in life. You made him believe he could have the life he had always dreamed of. You gave him love, Magnus, and there’s no way I could ever pay you back.” A few tears had fallen on Magnus’ cheeks as Alec talked.

“How do you manage to render me speechless? I’m the one who’s supposed to do that.”

“Well, I have to step up my game or you’ll grow tired of me” Alec chuckled.

“I’ll never get tired of you, angel” And now, Alec knew how true it was. Magnus had proven it to him. Alec knew they would face many battles, many difficulties, they would have to trust and rely on each other to make it through, but Alec wasn’t worried. He knew Magnus and him would overcome everything that would stand in their way. He had known Magnus was the man of his life, ever since he had first laid eyes on him.

**Author's Note:**

> How was it? Not too bad?


End file.
